[Stones] Andy Burnham appointed Culture Secretary

[Andy Burnham]

I am very pleased to announce that Gordon Brown has finally seen sense
and decided to appoint me as his Culture Secretary.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7207497.stm

Among my first actions will be to ensure that prehistory is put onto the
National Curriculum, to include half an hour of compulsory flint
knapping a week.

All the buried stones at Avebury will be re-erected, with the manual
labour to be provided by those who are building houses on the Bonds
Garage site.

Glastonbury will be wired into the National Grid, to generate additional
energy by recycling the hot air spouted by people with theories on the
construction and use of Stonehenge, and other earth mysteries types.

Several current voluntary and private sector organisations will be
nationalised into a new quango, Antiquarian Head Action Watch whose job
will be to write endless meaningless waffle on brightly coloured paper,
inspect things and put out government press releases. When they are not
doing this their job will be to to paint contour lines on to hills and
colour roads the same as on maps. This will help people know where they are.

I shall also be banning Krautrock from these shores and the wearing of
high heeled boots by men with immediate effect. Compensation and
rehabilitation back into society will be available for anyone whose
career is damaged by this.

And the next person to mention moles will be sent to the Tower of London
which will help with prison overcrowding.

Thank you

:-)
Andy